So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Randomize
