Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
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