So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
