that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
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