and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
