Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Randomize
