Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
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