Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
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