it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
