So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
