I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
