White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
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