But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
