So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
