I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
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