This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
