another moral hangover. fuck.
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
I know her cup size but not her name....
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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