I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
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