hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
