woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize