dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
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