my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
