So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
