btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
I intend to get homeless drunk
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Randomize
