There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Randomize
