State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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