I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
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