Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
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