I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Let's get the cat blown out
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
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