You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Randomize
