this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
