Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
