I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
