I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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