We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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