So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Randomize
