i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
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