Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
