found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
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