Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Randomize
