very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Randomize
