I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Randomize
