So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize
