no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize