did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
