Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Still dying that you shit outside
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
