Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
