awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
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