she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
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