You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Randomize