so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
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