don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
So much Jack, so little girl.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize