she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
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