just survived the first fart of the relationship.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Randomize
