Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
