oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
