He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
Randomize
