Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
