I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize