I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Randomize
