And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
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