i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Randomize
