I wish I only lived at night.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
