It's just like the Real World with babies
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Randomize
