The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
We left the knife in your bed.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
