she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
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