Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
