I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Randomize
