And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Randomize
