turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Randomize
