bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
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