I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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