Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
