she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
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