And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
I don't want my vagina anymore.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Randomize
