I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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