What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
and eventually we just all took our pants off
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
